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Mar
08

Just One Emotional Connection


I am a podcast listener. They are great for passing the time when I’m driving, mowing, or out for a walk. “Missing Richard Simmons” was the latest podcast that I checked off of my to-listen list, and I learned some things about him that I found fascinating.


The first fact being that his gym in Hollywood was called Slimmons, which couldn’t be a more brilliant name. For some reason, I really enjoy saying Slimmons. Secondly, to attend a class with him only cost twelve bucks. That’s less than I pay for an exercise class with an instructor far from one of the world's most renowned fitness gurus.

Yet, most interesting to me is a fact that this podcast made clear through numerous interviews with people who know this outspoken, eccentric, lovable man-- he has the ability to create a connection with nearly every person he encounters, and these connections don’t feel fake or false as one may expect when meeting a celebrity; they feel authentic and natural. He became the friend who - from states away - would call to check on your weight-loss progress. He was the friend who made you feel important. The friend who could relate to your story, empathize with you, and validate your feelings. The friend that truly got “it”, whatever “it” was.

His gift for making connections got me thinking about the relationships built between teachers and students. Relationships that have the ability to change the ways students think and perceive themselves.

In fact, I learned from watching a presentation by Dr. Lori Desautels, associate professor at Butler University in Indianapolis, that “resiliency research in children has shown that just one emotional connection with a teacher, a coach, an educator of some capacity can change the architecture of the brain of a student who has suffered from trauma.” Changing it in a way so that the student begins to see themselves as a valued, loved, and an important human being.

I would argue that Richard Simmons’s gift for connecting with individuals can be used as an example for the change that can be effected in our students’ lives when they feel valued and validated. He was able to motivate thousands of people to lose countless pounds and to once again put themselves first in their own lives through the bonds he created with them. We can surely connect with our students in deeper and more meaningful ways, remembering that just one emotional connection with an adult can mean a new, more positive outlook for the student.

Armed with this knowledge, take the time to ask a student how you can help, and listen intently and give the 2x10 strategy a try. Employ available community or school resources like before or after school care, the Boys & Girls Club, Girls, Inc., etc. to support the student. Go out of your way to show that you care and are genuinely concerned for their well being, because you may be that student’s one emotional connection that becomes the game-changer.

Image attribution: Angela George [CC BY-SA 3.0], via Wikimedia Commons



4
Mar
01

March Towards Hope

March Towards Hope

The calendar has some quirky coincidences in 2018. The somber first day of lent, Ash Wednesday, when folks in the Christian faith acknowledge that yes, they are
going to die, fell on Valentine's Day: a frivolous celebration of worldly love. Easter is on April 1 this year. I don’t envy the ministers and theologians who will have to work on that Sunday. It seems like they’ll have some extra explaining to do. And now my turn to write the PATINS blog falls on March 1st. Ugh.


Not true everywhere, but in Indiana March is the worst month. Don’t let that iconic shamrock on the calendar fool you, there isn’t much green to be found anywhere. We’re surrounded by gray skies, flat beige landscapes, and still wearing thick socks. In March, there might be a 70 degree day or two where you are lulled into thinking winter is loosening, but it will be followed by a lockdown-drill of freezing rain.

There is the big basketball tournament to distract us, but as I write this, Purdue has dropped from the top of the Big 10 standings, and it seems that having not one but two 7-footers on the team wasn’t enough to propel the Boilermakers from our mid season winning streak to tournament favorites. I blame March in the midwest. I know, not rational, because all Big 10 teams are in the midwest, but before you all message me and gently suggest that maybe Bev needs some medication, I’ll let you know that I do have strategies for surviving March.

First, seed catalogs = hope. Slowly page through them and drink in the colors. Or, while you’re at the home improvement store finding replacement parts for your sump pump (March floods) stop by the display of seed packets, pull out a packet, gently shake it by your ear and hear the sound of presumed life. My second strategy is to pretend I’m somewhere else; otherwise known as Mr. Rogers make believe medicine (I know, maybe consider medication). I put on my colorful bathing suit, lime green swim cap, and swim at the Y once or twice a week. And I imagine that the water is heated by a tropical sun. This week: Belize. My final strategy was a gift given to me by my friend Kelly. She created a Pinterest board for me called “March Madness Prevention” and she posts images or links to my favorite things: Bugs Bunny cartoons, snapdragons, and porch swings, to name a few.

The PATINS blog calendar lottery has also slotted me into a point in time where schools and teachers are looking out at what could be described as a bleak landscape. Fear seems to have enveloped schools, and infected the debate about how to keep all safe in the sacred space of the classroom. I’ve laid awake at night with the debate about violence in schools ricocheting around my brain, but haven’t been able to come up with much that doesn’t sound like more noise.

I’ve decided to follow Kelly’s lead to offer you a Pinterest board of sorts to share some images of hope. As a PATINS specialist I am in and out of many Indiana schools each week, and I see so many lovely things happening despite all that seems against us. Here are a few snapshots of hope happening in schools. Right now. Despite March:
  • My colleagues in Bluffton who work every day to hold high expectations for all and ensure that each child in the room has a voice. Follow the joy: @asheetsroom14 on Twitter.
  • An art teacher friend shares this story
painting created by high school student of bare trees with snow and shadows
  • One kindergartener telling another to take a deep breath when they can’t seem to figure out the reader app I’m teaching them. I followed her lead.
  • Students from STEM and robotics clubs finding solutions for students needing them. I was fortunate to meet members of the Mishawaka Penn High School Robotics Club who presented at a national assistive technology conference.
  • Pre-teacher in a Butler training determined to reach middle-schoolers, despite showing a depth of understanding of the middle school psyche. Felt like a hope earthquake under my feet.
  • Students at the Indiana School for the Blind and Visually Impaired discovering healthier food by massaging kale with avocado, and planning a new cafeteria garden on their campus. (I repeat, seeds = hope)
If you have an image of hope, please share in the comments!

2
Feb
27

Is it Thursday yet?

If you have read any of my other blogs I have focused on my grandchildren, and this one is no different.

My oldest granddaughter, Mackenzie (Kenzie) now 5, has been having some sleeping issues. My daughter, Emily, had recorded her snoring in her sleep and shared it with their pediatrician. The pediatrician was very concerned as it was very well pronounced and indicated that her airway was being compromised by her tonsils and adenoids.

Kenzie was referred to an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist and it was confirmed that both her tonsils and adenoids needed to be removed. Kenzie listened to the diagnosis and the recommended procedure.

Emily and the doctor discussed with Kenzie what would be best for her and what it would involve. Kenzie was on board and wanted to know when they could be removed. The procedure was scheduled two weeks out.

Now one should remember that Kenzie just turned five and is in preschool. Time concepts at her age are days of the week, months of the year and the next holiday to celebrate. So, saying two weeks was still somewhat abstract to Kenzie.

On their way home Kenzie asked if her tonsils would come out tomorrow. Emily explained that it would be on Thursday in two weeks. At that point Kenzie asked, “The next day then?” It began to sound like the proverbial, “Are we there yet?”

When they got home, Emily made a countdown calendar to help Kenzie with the timeframe, so she would have a better understanding of how many days would come and go before the procedure.

From that day on Kenzie was treating her upcoming procedure as if it was a holiday to celebrate. Her anticipation of what was going to happen was almost truly unnatural.

As adults, we know what is involved and some know firsthand what this experience is like. My youngest daughter, Sarah, had her tonsils removed at the age of twelve and post-surgery was tolerable but still somewhat uncomfortable. My personal thoughts were, “Oh child you have no idea…” but Kenzie was so excited to share that this was about to happen.

A couple days before the surgery, Emily tried some of the post-surgery foods with Kenzie. Jell-O, pudding, ice cream and popsicles and Kenzie had no issues with that. The night before everyone was given their designated duties; Mimi and Pappy Pa were instructed to take care of Ethan, our 2-year-old grandson.

Kenzie had her special pajamas and off to the hospital they went. Emily would send pictures and a timeline as to what was happening and Kenzie was still all smiles.

The procedure went well and when Emily and Jamie went back to recovery, Kenzie was sitting up as if nothing had happened, all smiles. For any parent, the last thing we want to do is see our children in discomfort, but that wasn’t the case so far.

Kenzie setting in a chair giving a thumbs up.

Fast forward 4 days and really nothing has changed except for the snoring. Kenzie has not had one complaint to speak of, which is quite a relief to all of us.

There is something to be said about the attitude one brings to the table and how we perceive what it is we expect. Kenzie’s lack of knowledge as what to expect was natural. What helped her to be prepared was the information and honesty about what to expect in real terms and that in the end, the outcome would be in her best interest.

So, what does this have to do with education or anything remote? On the verge of any testing, what can parents and teachers do to help prepare their child or student for any anxiety that might confront them?

PATINS hosts a PATINS/ICAM Twitter Chat on Tuesdays at 8:30 EST. (#PatinsIcam Chat) to tweet and chat about topics that pertain to education. It just so happens that the Tuesday of this blog the topic dealt with creating and maintaining a positive test environment.

It paralleled what we experienced with Kenzie to a degree regarding preparation and expectation.

Below were the Twitter questions for the chat. I am not going to address the questions but through Kenzie’s experience, it’s food for thought.
  1. Why is creating a positive testing environment important?
  2. What behaviors can be seen when a student struggles with test anxiety?
  3. What strategies do you use to create a calm and positive atmosphere?
  4. How can students support one another when it comes time to testing?
  5. What are your favorite apps or extensions to support students who may be feeling anxious?
  6. How can you gain parent/guardian support for creating a positive perspective of testing at home?
  7. What strategies and accommodations have you been implementing throughout the year to improve your students' confidence and access to the curriculum, thus improving test scores?
  8. How can goal setting factor in to helping a struggling child feel successful with ISTEP?
  9. Does teacher stress feed into student anxiety about a test? How do you take care of yourself?
  10. How are you going to celebrate this round of testing being over?
Kenzie would say pudding, popsicles and ice cream for this one!

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